Nowhere in this blog do I say "be an asshole". All through it, in fact, I say, "Adoptees, do what's best for you, as the only real victim of adoption." I have seen too many blogs in which relinquishers think they have some kind of special insight into reunion and the adopted condition. It often feels like some kind of sick cosmic joke; adoptees longing for answers and ownership of responsibility from the women who rejected them finding relinquishers who blame, finger point, and gaslight. It's like everyone is mismatched, adoptees desperately searching for peace and being thwarted at every turn by adopters, governmental agencies, and overly sensitive, self involved relinquishers. And still we just want the people we're blood related to. This post was inspired by Musings of the Lame's blog post, "Ways to Ruin an Adoption Reunion II, Adoptee Do's and Don'ts edition". *How An Adoptee Might Hurt Their "Mother"* Keeping
Adoptee in reunion for 20+ years. I don't speak marshmallow. I will no longer be publishing anonymous comments.