The Ungrateful Adoptee

If you want to have a good reunion with your "angry adoptee", here are a few things I'm relatively certain will make a positive difference for you. Some of it will be hard to read. You may want to deflect or abscond, but if you can sit with your discomfort on this, you may well be able to sit with your discomfort in reunion, and that WILL make it better. 1. Own Your Shit. I cannot stress this enough. Own your choices and decisions. Don't blame others, your lack of support, religious oppression, coercion from adoption professionals. Phrases like, "I didn't have support, but ultimately I decided to put you up for adoption, and for that I'm sorry." will go a long way. 2. Don't Expect Us To Feel Sorry For You. We want to know why you relinquished us, and we want the truth. The circumstances surrounding relinquishment are never truly positive for an adoptee, even if they seem that way at first. Don't expect compassion for your dire circums

I have recently been accused of "being known by many many as the spawn of Nancy Verrier". Honestly all I can do is chuckle. Reason being, since I read The Primal Wound, I detest the woman. Anyone who's spoken to me on the subject can attest to this. I can't stand Nancy Verrier. I can't tolerate any adopter who can't accept their own culpability in adoption trauma, and she CLEARLY couldn't. She had no inkling, or didn't want to, about the role adopters play in adoptee trauma. I could practically hear her in the wailing adopter tone as I read the book... "We just wanted a child to love! Through no fault of our own, this child is traumatized! We do our best, but it's just SO HARD to love these mean little adoptees with their PTSD and trauma! It's not MY fault you won't LET ME LOVE YOU! I didn't do anything wrong, and you've been hurting me since infancy with your rejection and acting out! All I wanted was to love you uncondi