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I Am Not A Treatment For Your Infertility

You can't just take me away from my biological mother and call me yours. I am not yours, nor will I ever be. I do not belong with you. I do not belong to you. I am not a kitten in the pound free a good home. I am not a bag of flour on a grocery store shelf, available for purchase. You didn't make me. You don't deserve to raise me. You aren't mine. 

Did you ever think maybe there's a reason you can't get pregnant? I don't care how much it hurts. You have no idea how much being adopted hurts. You don't know how much it hurts to be torn from your mother's breast. All you can think about is your own pain, your own selfish needs. You need a baby. You can't have one. Well, then, I'll just take someone else's. That will solve your problem and ease your pain. But what about mine? Do you care about that? Do you even think about it?

No. Because I an a cute little infant who can't speak. I have no voice. I can't tell you I miss my mother. I can't tell you you're a stranger. I don't have feelings. I'm just a lump of clay to be molded into the image of whoever raised me.

GUESS WHAT? WRONG! 

I am a person. A whole person with genes and a family tree and a history. I have feelings. I am not a blank slate for you to project yourself onto. I am not a mirror for your narcissistic need to have a child. I am not the solution for your infertility. Adopt a cat. Or a dog. Apply for legal guardianship of a child. Become a foster parent for abused and mistreated children. Put your self centered needs to good use.

Don't adopt me. Don't change my birth certificate so you can pretend you're my mother. You're not my mother. You're just some sterile woman who wants a baby. Don't erase my past. Don't pay thousands of dollars for me. Don't order me like a pizza. "I want a white girl, red hair, freckled, tubby baby belly on the side..."

Put your selfish need to use. Help a mother keep her child. "Adopt" a mother.

But you don't want to help anyone but yourself. If you did, one of those options would be appealing to you. But they aren't, are they? Because you want a baby. You have to have a baby.

Why? What is in you that is so hollow that I am supposed to be responsible for filling? What is it that you fundamentally lack that having a baby will give you?

Let me tell you something, captain "I'm-so-sad-i-can-only-think-of-myself". I'm not here to make you feel better. I'm not here to start your family or complete your home. I'm not a couch. I'm not here to be your "greatest gift". I'm not a gift, you stupid bitch, I'm a person. I'm not here to fill your void. I have one of my own. I'm not here to fulfill your life. I'm here to live mine. I wasn't put here to complete your family. I have one of my own. I'm not here to cure what's wrong with your heart. I need to worry about repairing mine.

Your problem is you can't have a baby. Find a way around it. My problems are much larger than that. And you make them worse by using me as a treatment for your infertility. 

Maybe this is the universe's way of telling you to choose another path.


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